On Tuesday, October 16 2007 I had a normal day like any other; got up, exercised, had my coffee, and headed out for job #1. Job went well, came back home and changed out my kit in preparation for job #2. Get to job #2, people seem cool (new client whom I didn’t know), good working environment, all seems positive.And then the phone call came.
I excuse myself from set and step out on the Patio.
My dear friend is on the phone crying. This is not a good sign. She then says “I don’t even know how to say this…” and frankly my immediate thoughts are “Who is dead?” praying that it wasn’t her mother or anyone else from her family… Then she said the words;
“Jack was killed today…the car he was working on fell on him and he died at the scene…”
We spoke briefly, and as my brain scrambled to understand the words I was just told, I told her that I was just starting a job and I needed to get back. And go back and do the job I did; no tears, no mention of what the phone call was about, everyone was happy with the job and in fact the client booked me for another one.
That’s our biz. For better or worse. The situation wasn’t my client’s fault or frankly their problem. They hired me to do a job that they needed to have done for their business, they were paying me to do it, so my job was to get it together and do the best job I could as I do on any job. To use the Tom Hanks quote from the movie “A League of Their Own”; “There’s no crying in Baseball”.
If you frequent the EmElle Industry Boards, however, you may have noticed a post from me stating that I needed to take a Time Out, and this is why. After the job was successfully completed and I had time to really process what happened I was upset to say the least. However, it also gave me time to really think about some things…
Jack was a dynamic, funny, kind, open and warm person who also embodied the spirit of fully living in the moment on every level. He died doing what he absolutely loved to do most, and doing it for a friend. Even his clients that started out being clients ended up being his friend, because that’s the type of person Jack was. An email was set up for his many friends around the world to send in memorials and stories about their relationship with Jack. By the time of his memorial service - a week after his passing - there were over 13,000 emails in that account.
I find when something like this happens it’s at first difficult to see the divine wisdom in why a tragedy like this should have to occur. But in the days since then I’ve thought about what the lesson has been for me. I’ve held back many times in my life out of fear. Fear of rejection, being different, not being accepted, this that the other. These random fears have impacted both my personal and professional life, but PARTICULARLY my professional life. Jack NEVER operated based on fear. This is a guy who moved here from Minnesota and with each passing year that I knew him only became more authentic and more true to himself. He wanted to change the world, and he meant it. And the more he meant it, the more things fell into place where he was really able to do things that on paper sounded “Pie in the Sky”. And as he did so he became only more successful in his pursuits and more happy and joyful in his life. So even though Jack only lived 34 Earth years, he lived each one to the maximum level, free from regrets of what he “wanted to do” or what “could have been”.
Can we all say the same? What’s holding us back?
Thanks Jack for helping me to see a bit more clearly. We’ll dance under the moon together again one day.
Jack Ibarra.com